Laugh for the day

[Beach Leo]

lmao Good Stuff Bill

[LBR]

Dave woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding*evening.*After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs,**where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Marilyn," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"*

*

*"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the Chairman of the company, right to his face."*

**

*"He's an @sshole," Dave said. "Pi$$ on him."**********************************

**

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."**********************************

**

"Well, £_(& him then" said Dave.**********************************

**

"I did", said Marilyn, "You're back at work on*Monday...."

[TrailGirl78]

That's funny


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MrH]

Med school question:

Re-arrange letters P N E S I to reflect the part of the body most useful when erect.




If you answered SPINE you would likely go far, anything else and not so much.

[MrH]

Ron at 80 years old, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots,
so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,
"Notice anything different about me?" Margaret at age 75, looked him
over and replied, "Nope."Frustrated as all get out, Ron stormed off
into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen
completely naked except for the new boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time,
"Notice anything different NOW???"

Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response,
"Ron, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging
down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Ron yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN,
MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat, old Margaret replies, "Shoulda bought
a hat, Ron. Shoulda bought a hat."

[EPL]

Lmao

[LBR]

Hahaha

[MrH]

"Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you don't have an Uncle Paul."

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy right now."

Brief pause. "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. I want you to put the phone down, run upstairs and knock on the door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled up."

"Okay Daddy, just a minute."

A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it, Daddy."

"And what happened, honey?"

"Well, Mommy got scared, jumped out of bed naked and ran around screaming. Then she tripped on the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all."

"Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out of the back window into the pool. But I guess he didn't know you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead!

**Really long pause**

Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? Is this 486-5732?"

[Dingbat]

lmao !

[EPL]

So true .