Laugh for the day

[Beer Mod]

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[Beer Mod]

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[Bedo]

You might be a Redneck Jedi if.....
you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
your Jedi robe is camouflage.
you have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
you have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
the worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
wookiees are offended by your B.O.
you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
you have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
you have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
you have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
you ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
you have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
you have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
you suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood decking.
you were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
if you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... and your uncle."

[MrH]

[Lennart]

Lmao !

[Lennart]

I stopped by the Ford Dealership
> Yesterday, for a look at the new F-250
> Pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test
> drive. I wanted to
> sense that new truck "feel and smell."
>
> The salesman (a handsome, big black man wearing an Obama
> "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next
> to me, describing the truck and all its
> "wonderful" options.
>
> The seats were of particular interest. He explained
> that the seats
> directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed
> cool air to
> your butt in the summer heat.
>
> Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be
> a
> Republican truck.
>
> Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a
> Republican truck.
>
> I explained that if it were an Obama truck, the seats would
> just blow
> smoke up your ass year-round.
>
> I had to walk back to the dealership. Guy had no sense
> of humor.

[Beer Mod]

^^^ haha

[Beer Mod]

...

[LBR]

I stopped by the Ford Dealership
> Yesterday, for a look at the new F-250
> Pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test
> drive. I wanted to
> sense that new truck "feel and smell."
>
> The salesman (a handsome, big black man wearing an Obama
> "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next
> to me, describing the truck and all its
> "wonderful" options.
>
> The seats were of particular interest. He explained
> that the seats
> directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed
> cool air to
> your butt in the summer heat.
>
> Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be
> a
> Republican truck.
>
> Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a
> Republican truck.
>
> I explained that if it were an Obama truck, the seats would
> just blow
> smoke up your ass year-round.
>
> I had to walk back to the dealership. Guy had no sense
> of humor.

Hahaha....that is rich!

[MrH]

A plastic surgeon invented a radical new face lift procedure and was explaining it to a prospective patient. He told her "I'll install a special screw in the top of your skull. Your hair will cover it so it will be unnoticed. Whenever you need a little tuck, we'll just tighten the screw a little... and the wrinkles will disappear!" The woman was enthused and told the doctor to "GO FOR IT!" The surgery was a resounding success, and the woman went home happy. A few months later, the woman returned in a great state of agitation. She pointed to her face and said "Just look at these bags under my eyes! Where the hell did they come from?" The surgeon looked at her closely and said "Those aren't BAGS under your eyes. Those are your breasts. And if you keep messing around with that screw... pretty soon you'll have a goatee!"