Laugh for the day

[LBR]

Jack goes to his friend Mike and says ..."I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him back in church for an hour after service for me?"

Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees.

After the service, Mike starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.

Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.

Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the minister...

"My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says...

"You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago".

*

[MrH]

Lol

[MrH]

One Monday morning the postman is walking through the neighborhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.

As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.

His wonder was cut short by David, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

'Wow David, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman comments.

David, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night.

This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning.

We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.

We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing 'WHO AM I?'

The Postman thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet.

Then the women try to guess who it is.'

The postman laughs and says, 'Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I missed it.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' David responded. 'Your name came up 7 times.'

[MrH]

A TEXAN IN THE BIG CITY​


A Texan walked into a bank in New York City and asked to see the loan officer. He told the loan officer he was going to Houston on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. He informed the loan officer he was not a depositor of the bank.

The loan officer told him the bank would need some form of security for the loan and the Texan handed him the keys to a new Ferrari. The title checked out okay so the loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral. He told the Texan the bank would charge 12% interest for the loan, and the man said that would be okay.

After the Texan left the bank president and the other officers laughed about getting a $400,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. Then they drove the Ferrari into a secure area of the bank's underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Texan returned and repaid the $5,000 loan plus $23.08 in interest.

The loan officer said: "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has been completed satisfactorily, but we’re curious about something. We checked and found that you’re a very wealthy man. You have hundreds of thousands of dollars on deposit in various banks. Why you would borrow $5,000 for a short business trip?"

The Texan smiled and said, "Where else in New York City can I park a Ferrari for two weeks for $23.08 and expect it to be here when I return?"

[crazywatson]

[MrH]

Lmao!!

[MrH]

[EPL]

I am going to retire and live off my savings, what I will do on the second day I have no idea.

[MrH]

Bob and Larry are out fishing in the river and eventually they drift under a bridge.

As they drift back out, a funeral procession crosses over the bridge. Seeing this, Bob stands up, removes his hat and places it over his heart waiting for the procession to pass.

Touched, Larry comments "Bob, that was a really nice thing to do. I'm impressed".

Bob nods and says "Well, Larry, I was married to her for 34 years. I figure it's the least I can do".

[LBR]

The man who just drove into the parking space I was waiting for, then told me to EFF off just arrived for his job interview......with me!