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Lol
Old Biker: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Old Biker: "Nah...She's purty good lookin'....."
SEX AND THE ELDERLY . . .
The eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Green, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband", she said.
She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud: "Bob, do we still have intercourse?"
There was a complete hush - you could have heard a pin drop.
Bob answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I've told you a
hundred times . . . What we have is:
Blue Cross!
Woman is a major Beatles fan. So much that she goes to the local tattoo parlor and asks for a picture of John Lennon on the inside of her left thigh and a picture of Paul McCartney on the inside of her right thigh.
A while after the procedure she removes the bandages. She is MAD! She doesn't think either tattoo looks anything like the famous musicians. Storms back to the tattoo parlor and starts screaming at the artist. He tells her they both are a splitting image. Tells her to go get the first person off the street and they will confirm his work.
Woman grabs a drunk homeless man from the curb and brings him into the store. She drops her pants, sits in the chair and spreads. Asks the drunk his opinion on who he thinks the tattoos are.
Drunk stares for a while, looking back and forth. Finally the woman says, "Does the tat on the left look like John Lennon? Does the tat on the right look like Paul McCartney?"
The drunk replies, "Not really, but the guy in the middle with the beard and bad breath, must be Willie Nelson!"
The Sneeze
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first
class section of an airplane.
The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose,
then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue,
wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still
curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As
before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking
even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman
and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three
times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare medical condition.
Whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I
have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you
taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded,
"Black Pepper.”
Hahaha...black pepper!