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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrQPv1JBLpk
Funny dog :)
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!!!
Two funny for so many reasons !!
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Ha ha .
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Here Lance (LBR) I found you some "WOOD" so you can make Barb (BLR) happy !! LOL
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Bahahaha.....Hope the tide don't come in!
Oh my gosh... that maybe a little big... lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFsTpdXLiZg
Dont jump!
HaHa !!
I'M BLONDE AND I'M BEAUTIFUL!
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested she move to economy since she didn't have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak to her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section.
Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving.
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to her. The captain replied: "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.
Amen .
After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'...
I could see an old person starting to do this .
I i have had this problem before !!
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To funny ,
Be careful what you say!!!!
A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.
He asked a girl, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice,
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
All the people in the library started staring at the man who was deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table and said with a laugh, "I study Psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I bet you felt embarrassed. Right?"
The man responded in a loud voice,
"$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? .... I`M NOT PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The man whispered to her: "I study Law, and I know how to screw people."
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor haswives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer
The third, fourth, fifthand sixth floors have never been visited.
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Got lucky !!
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>>>>>
This happened in parking lot here in Florence.. glad Noone was hurt.. lol..
I would love to hear the explanation when the Cops arrived..https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...49695f3a31.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...d95086123f.jpg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLR
Are you sure you weren't driving Barb !!
No I wasn't but I had to drive by 3 times just for s$!ts & giggles
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Mickey walked into the courthouse on Monday.
He threw divorce papers onto the judges desk.
The judge looked up and said "Mickey, I already told you, you can't divorce Minney because she is crazy".
Mickey said "I never said she was crazy, I said she was f***ing Goofy!"
Blondie throws a party!!!
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If they hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask them, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
I think I got this....was he assassinated on the first trip by ship crew who left him on ship for 2 more world rounds, then buried him at sea and then kept sailing?Quote:
Originally Posted by EPL
😂
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Some people may believe this .
I know some of them !!Quote:
Originally Posted by Ripshift
I just got Back from the store funny thing happen at the store I was going to get some orange juice when a blonde was just staring at the orange juice I thought what the heck what is she doing so I asked her what are you doing she said I'm looking at the orange juice I said why she said it says right on there to concentrate
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season.
One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream.
He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead.
What do you think of that?"
The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
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Blonde Inventions
Some Inventions are simply better left uninvented:
Left handed pencil
Clear correction fluid
Black highlighter
Waterproof tea bags
Braille driving manual
Dehydrated water
Screen door on a submarine
Helicopter ejection seat
Air conditioning for motorcycle
Wooden barbecue
Glow-in-the-dark sun dial
Gasoline fire extinguisher
Battery-powered battery charger
Fake rhinestones
Fireproof matches
Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses
Mesh umbrella
Some of these sound like my wife would come up with .Quote:
Originally Posted by Bedo
Barb (BLR) your firewood is here !!LOL
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That will last 1 night!!! [emoji23][emoji91][emoji91][emoji91]Quote:
Originally Posted by EPL
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lol !!Quote:
Originally Posted by blr
I think this was the last cop that stopped me !!
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