Laugh for the day

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Originally Posted by LBR

Headed on 99N today from Fresno....the Barbara, the Hotrod, and I were laughhhhing, talllllking, while cruzzzzing along in the second from right lane....a truck swerved very abruptly from the right lane directly in front of us....Grrrr!...our lane could either go straight on 99N or veer towards Gilroy at the interchange that I didn't flippin' know we were at....followed the truck gritting my teeth mumbling SOB at him and realized we were headed to flippin' Gilroy with the asshat!....went a few miles, flipped a Youie to get on 99N again. GD if we could only empty into 99S lanes....so to the next interchange to flip another GD Youie onto GD 99N again....GD Cali secondary roads anyway!!..... LMAO!!!!

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Welcome to my part of the world, lol

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That's funny, but the scarey part is ..... not far from the truth!

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Love it !!

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For the ladies....

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Riding mower with catch bucket !!


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A Mexican a terrorist and a Texan were in a bar drinking. The Mexican slams his drink and throws the glass in the air and pulls out a pistol and shoots it. He says in my country the glasses are so cheap we never have to drink out of the same one twice. The terrorist then slams his drink and throws the glass in the air and pulls out a machine gun and shoots it and says in my country we have so much sand we never have to drink out of the same glass twice. The Texan not to be outdone slams his drink throws the glass in the air pulls out a shotgun and shoots the Mexican and the terrorist and says in my country we have so many illegals that we never have to drink with the same ones twice.

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Originally Posted by Lennart

A Mexican a terrorist and a Texan were in a bar drinking. The Mexican slams his drink and throws the glass in the air and pulls out a pistol and shoots it. He says in my country the glasses are so cheap we never have to drink out of the same one twice. The terrorist then slams his drink and throws the glass in the air and pulls out a machine gun and shoots it and says in my country we have so much sand we never have to drink out of the same glass twice. The Texan not to be outdone slams his drink throws the glass in the air pulls out a shotgun and shoots the Mexican and the terrorist and says in my country we have so many illegals that we never have to drink with the same ones twice.

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This isn't a very politically corr.....screw it, that's FUNNY!...lmao

Lmao !!


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Originally Posted by EPL

Lmao !!


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Love it .

A few funny's



1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … Only 15 to go ...

2. Ate salad for dinner … Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Actually just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... And cheese... OK, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza …

3. How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web,

5. I don't mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day supply of diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it ...

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it.When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was storming they closed school?Me neither.

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … ---I forgot where I was going with this---

11. I love being over 50 … I learn something new every day … and forget 5 others ...

12. A thief broke into my house last night.He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him.

13. My dentist told me I need a Crown … I said, “Awright, pour mine over rocks..."

14. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day ...
Just remember, once you're over the hill

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So yesterday at Walmart this little girl, she looked about three. She was sitting in her basket mean mugging me like I kicked her puppy. Being the "adult" that I am, I smile and waved at her. This demon child rolled her eyes at me. So yall know me, I'm not about to played by some bald headed demon spawn. So I walk over to the mom and ask her if I can give her some candy, the mom smiled and said sure. I told the little girl to put in her pocket and save it for later which she did. I walked away, headed to the manager and told him that little girl was stealing M&Ms. The manager thanked me, stating that he is so tired of these parents not controlling these kids. Manager walked over to them, asks them to empty their pockets. I then looked at the little girl and flipped her off and walked out the store like a boss. ‪‬

Quote:

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Originally Posted by EPL

So yesterday at Walmart this little girl, she looked about three. She was sitting in her basket mean mugging me like I kicked her puppy. Being the "adult" that I am, I smile and waved at her. This demon child rolled her eyes at me. So yall know me, I'm not about to played by some bald headed demon spawn. So I walk over to the mom and ask her if I can give her some candy, the mom smiled and said sure. I told the little girl to put in her pocket and save it for later which she did. I walked away, headed to the manager and told him that little girl was stealing M&Ms. The manager thanked me, stating that he is so tired of these parents not controlling these kids. Manager walked over to them, asks them to empty their pockets. I then looked at the little girl and flipped her off and walked out the store like a boss. ‪‬

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I can so see Ed doing this!!

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hilarious.. my brother has been waiting for the 17's release.. cant wait to show show him this!!!

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Can-Am XDS 1000 Turbo.

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Originally Posted by Mike621

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The truth has been revealed! LOL!!

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Originally Posted by Mike621

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Can-Am XDS 1000 Turbo.

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I told LBR.. it was a planned takeout... :)

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Funny but true!! People wonder why kids have no social skills....


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LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.

How pumpkin pies are made !!