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Too funny!!!http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/2016...e1737eba9d.jpghttp://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/2016...9115c6c058.jpgQuote:
Originally Posted by LBR
:)
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he
pharmacist walks into the
store to find a guy leaning heavily against a
wall.
He asks the blonde clerk:
"What's with that guy over there by the
wall?"
The blonde clerk responds:
"Well, he came in here this morning to get
something> for his cough. I couldn't
find the cough syrup, so I gave him an
entire bottle of
Laxative"
The pharmacist yells:
"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with
laxative!"
The blonde clerk responds,
"Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid
to
cough.
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So true !Quote:
Originally Posted by MrH
This one cracked me up....yup!
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This is why I love all the Crazies http://images.tapatalk-cdn.com/16/01...19bf695965.jpg
I know BLR !!! LOL
LMAO!!Quote:
Originally Posted by MrH
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Hahaha!!Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieJ899
A cow, an ant, and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.
The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"
The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"
Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something.
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^^^^^LOL
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A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.
The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers.
Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives.
The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, 'What's going on here?' 'My car broke down, officer' says the woman calmly 'Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?' he asks.
'Helllooooooo!!!!' says the blonde. 'Those are my emergency flashers!'
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250 000 miles. One day she told her problem to a friend she worked with. The friend told her "There is a way to make the car easier to sell but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "OK," said the friend. "Here's the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem selling your car." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the friend asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
Laughing so hard!!!! [emoji12][emoji12]Quote:
Originally Posted by MrH
:)
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.' We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBR
Would be my Luck .
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrh
lmao !
Some things just make one say "Wuw!"
https://youtu.be/Xif20Anmxt0
Lol !!
.
Pretty cool !Quote:
Originally Posted by LBR
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."
And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba?"
Lol !!
.
I went to the supermarket today , and I was there for literally 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Dick headed cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!
So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!
This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the winshield... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.
Be careful tomorrow, Punxsutawney Phil!!
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